Thursday, December 24, 2015

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Association
Not a creature was stirring, not even "Sideline Coach Flint"
The league RPI was quite high no thanks to the Tigers
In hopes that the Selection Committee members would read it by the fires

The AD's were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of angry alumni were mired in their heads
  And Yeager in his 'kerchief and Berto in his cap
Had just settled down for a slow Richmond nap

When out in the South their arose such a clatter
Zillmer even had a staff member find out what was the matter
Away to the internets the keys he did mash
using the DAC's dial up connection - he was on in a "flash"

The 3am moon on the people in the Baltimore streets
gave the lustre of downtown Richmond during rush hour meets
When what to the wondering eyes should appear
But a single frontrunner and nine coaches needing a beer

With a little old driver, his lip adorned with quite the flavor saver
I knew in a moment it must be Tony Shaver
More rapid than Dutchmen laptops his followers were in chase
And he whistled - Lord did he whistle - and called them with haste

Now Mihalich, Now Coen, Now Brady and Ross!
On Keatts and Bru, on Grant, on Skerry and Matheny!
To the top of the league to the inner harbor mall
now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

As Pantsless Griffins before the wild hurricane fly
when they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky
So up in the national standings the teams they flew
with a sleigh full of wins - and the Dragons had two!

And then in a twinkling I heard at the Mack
The prancing and pawing it sounds like a track
Running and running no defense in sight
Through the net the ball came without even a fight

Then there was Keatts his team tight as a tick
his defense what Bruiser Flint watches when he feels sick
A Seahawk team Coach Keatts had rebounding back
He can't wait to apply it to his resume draft

Coen's eyes how they twinkled, his paleness slightly less pale!
His cheeks were like roses, as he continues to recount his championship tale
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
Hoping his home arena is available for practice and not hosting a figure skating show

The stump of a pipe Monte Ross held in his teeth
his AD watching his every move thru a wreath
He had a smiling face and a round little belly
Which Bruiser's tailor ensured no one could see on the telly

Skerry was chubby and plump a right jolly old elf
I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know that Autism had something to dread

The coaches spoke not a word but went straight to cliche
Each one of them taking it day by day!
Laying their fingers in the direction of Jamie Luckie
and with a smile the fingers rose more like a bird than a ducky

Yeager grabbed his cellphone and to his Presidents and AD's he gave a whistle
And away the coaches all flew like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out if sight
Back to Richmond next year so enjoy Baltimore tonight!

1 comment:

  1. The rule changes are absurd. They are not an effort to speed the game up. They r the final nail in the coffin of an underdog that attempts to control tempo, the final thrust to the gut of an inferior team using intelligence to win. It allows teams that run poor offense to have an athletic guard go one on one late in the shot clock and have an excellent chance to draw some ticky tack foul. The extra possessions allow more athletic teams to get more rebounds, eventually breaking the back of the underdog. The rule changes are not about speeding the game up. They are about getting the money to the proper places.